Tag Archives: satire

Today

Dear Optimists,

There’s nothing like defeating a video game, right? I just beat all of the zombies in Rebuild 2, an online game I happen to love. I saved 99 people and defeated every zombie in the town to make it safe.

I’m a hero.

What did YOU accomplish today?

Love,
Den
P.S. In case you missed it, this post was seething with sarcasm.

EBooks? EBooks!

Dear Optimists,

I don’t love Kindle, Nook or anything else. For me, an English major, my love of the novel, the feel of the paper and turning of the page itself are all romantic in some way. Sure I love playing games on my iPad, and using programs on it, but I just can’t bring myself to read on one.

As much as I don’t love e-readers, I found one wonderful use for them. It’s easier to carry one around than a book when you’re reading a Stephen King novel. 😉


Love,
Den

Peanuts For Sale!

Dear Optimists,

The other day I was walking down the street and this guy was carrying these giant bundles, one in each hand. From afar I recognized the sheer size of the bags and that they were a yellow meshy material, but as he got closer I saw that each bag contained nine smaller plastic bags of peanuts.

“What, do you have an elephant as a pet or something?” I joked.

He gave me a dirty look. Some people have NO Sense of humor.

Love,

Den

Super Squirrel

Dear Optimists,

I know I know, you aren’t used to two posts in one day, but I shared a little happening from last night with Nadia and we felt we just HAD to share.

I was watching the Philadelphia Phillies Major League Baseball playoff game against the St. Louis Cardinals, and I have to say I’m not much of a baseball fan. Hockey is my thing. And when you’ve been watching hockey your whole life, baseball is a bit slow. So I was shocked last night when, after a pitch, I got a little entertainment from this furry little fellow:

Okay, not that one. That’s Nadia’s interpretation of the little guy. But a squirrel ran across the field. Sure, that doesn’t sound all that funny, but I laughed pretty hard. The replays were what really got me, though. I hurt myself laughing when they started showing the replays. They had many different shots of the critter, and even a few in slow motion! I laughed until my eyes watered. The best was that every cameraman decided to ignore play on the field and follow the squirrel instead 🙂

Here you go, watch it and enjoy:

Love,

Den and Nadia

Hug the World

Dear Optimists,

Sometimes people just need a hug. After a long, trying day of work, even the best of us can lose our optimism. Do you think Nadia and I just walk around smiling all the time? And there’s nothing like a good, caring hug from someone you know cares. You know what I’m talking about!

So get out there and start hugging people! Just stay away from the homeless, they don’t love being hugged. And sometimes they can be stinky.

Love,

Den

Curiosity

Dear Optimists,

It’s so easy to absolutely enthrall a three-year-old. It was my girlfriend’s niece’s birthday the other day and we took her out for the day and let her pick her gifts. The next day was her party, and I found one of the things she really loved (from the store) at a yard sale, so I grabbed it for her, a My Little Pony that was actually quite large that talked, sang and even wiggled its butt (who knows why). My girlfriend grabbed the batteries and once we gave it to her, it was like every other gift just disappeared.

No, this isn’t about how cute kids are again, dear optimists. It’s about how easy it was, as a kid, to look at something and just become awed by it. Wondering how it works. Watching it do whatever it does. Thinking about it in such an open-minded way. It was lovely. I do that sometimes with simple things  like seeds as they grow. Isn’t that just amazing? I put that seed in the dirt, I watered it, and it’s growing. I watch a caterpillar and it’s many legs moving across a leaf. Or even my typewriter…all those little parts that I can see, working together to create.

The world is an amazing place.

Love,

Den

Hurricane! Hurricane?

Dear Optimists,

I woke up Sunday morning in the middle of a hurricane to find…NOTHING. No rain, a little wind, no damage…so imagine my surprise, considering the news kept telling everyone the end of the world was coming (practically). The stores were out of water, bread, milk, eggs (I think everyone makes French Toast when it storms, I swear it…) and they were even completely sold out of GENERATORS. So when nothing happened, people were, to put it kindly, upset.

So I watched the news, something I tend to avoid because it’s so so so negative (I get my world news from NYtimes.com and BBC). I wanted to see what they would say/do/show to get themselves out of the pickle they’d put themselves into.

So I’m watching as the newscaster says, “And now we have the Atlantic City Director of Emergencies on the line.”

A picture of a cell phone comes up and we hear the man’s voice. “Good morning! So, we think we’ll be letting people back into Atlantic City around 4 P.M. on Monday, but then I’m just pulling that out of my buttcrack.”

This got my attention, and the newscaster’s as well, who was suddenly back on camera. “Okay…I think that maybe that wasn’t who we thought it was.”

The cell phone voice, one I assumed was gone, suddenly said “No Shit, Sherlock.”

I laughed my buttcrack off.

Love,

Den