Hurricane! Hurricane?

Dear Optimists,

I woke up Sunday morning in the middle of a hurricane to find…NOTHING. No rain, a little wind, no damage…so imagine my surprise, considering the news kept telling everyone the end of the world was coming (practically). The stores were out of water, bread, milk, eggs (I think everyone makes French Toast when it storms, I swear it…) and they were even completely sold out of GENERATORS. So when nothing happened, people were, to put it kindly, upset.

So I watched the news, something I tend to avoid because it’s so so so negative (I get my world news from NYtimes.com and BBC). I wanted to see what they would say/do/show to get themselves out of the pickle they’d put themselves into.

So I’m watching as the newscaster says, “And now we have the Atlantic City Director of Emergencies on the line.”

A picture of a cell phone comes up and we hear the man’s voice. “Good morning! So, we think we’ll be letting people back into Atlantic City around 4 P.M. on Monday, but then I’m just pulling that out of my buttcrack.”

This got my attention, and the newscaster’s as well, who was suddenly back on camera. “Okay…I think that maybe that wasn’t who we thought it was.”

The cell phone voice, one I assumed was gone, suddenly said “No Shit, Sherlock.”

I laughed my buttcrack off.

Love,

Den

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10 responses to “Hurricane! Hurricane?

  1. hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahaa!! thank you! hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaahahahhahaha

  2. When I first saw ‘buttcrack’ among the tags, I thought I was imagining things. Then I read the post and now I’ve got this sudden urge to watch the news.

    • I just figured, you never know when someone will look for buttcrack-tagged stories! 😉 But fight the urge to watch the news…it’s too depressing.

  3. HAHAHA!!!!! Best. Newscast. Ever.

  4. That is a trip!!!!¡¡¡ I am not a fan of TV media and how they blow things out of proportion like that. I lived in FL for 5 years and every hurricane season all my out-of-state friends would be freaking out because they saw a newscaster in front of swaying palm trees and rain and they thought I was living in a catastrophic nightmare. What they don’t realize is that you could blow on a palm tree and it’d do that. Btw – love the drawing!

  5. Pingback: » Blog Archive » jordens undergång… ?

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